Reflection on Our First Month

August 31, 2014

What can be said for our first month of life on the road?  Well…a lot.  With each blog I have highlighted all the places we have been and stops we have made focusing on the travel aspect of our trip, but now it is time to reflect on our family’s first month away from it all.  Before embarking this journey, both Tom and I swore to each other we would try to be as transparent as possible with our entire experience.  If you aren’t real and you aren’t genuine, then what good is documenting a journey?  The beauty is in the experience as a whole.  This, then, is the unfiltered version of our first month as a family on the road.  So, here goes, all the good stuff you’ve been waiting for.

 

To start, I’m not sure I have ever lived one month with such a range of different feelings and emotions.  We will put experiences aside for a moment to discuss this drastic change in our day to day lives.  Simply put, living on the road does create some challenges, especially in the beginning.  This first month has been an incredible adjustment period for everyone in the family.  When you take your family out of a chaotic routine where you barely have time to think, you are fully faced with, well, each other. 

This means, the good, the bad and, yes, the ugly.  Our family has always been close, so we knew we could adjust, but some moments are more trying than others.  For the first time ever, we now move as a family unit and actually depend on each other.  Everyone’s contribution, right down to our moods, has an affect on every other family member whether positive or negative.  We are no longer just a family, we also have to function like a team.  Life in a small space, and with much togetherness, has a way of magnifying all of our tendencies.  And, since we are not perfect angels (I hope this doesn’t come as a shock!) this doesn’t always result in pure cohesiveness.  We have different likes, different personalities and different tolerance levels.  Now, despite our differences, our family has so much we enjoy together and so much in common.  We have had incredible experiences, kayaking down our first river through the hills of Georgia, exploring the longest cave in the world, horseback riding as a family in the cool morning air, and even mountain biking on a scorching summer afternoon.  It has been a month like no other, one full of so many smiles.  Each one of us have experienced something brand new.  In other words, with this type of life you have a lot of high points, many more than living a normal life of a monotonous routine, but with high points come low points.  We have had a couple of times where everything comes to the surface, warranted or not.  This is part of the transformation into a new way of living each day, understanding each other and molding a deeper respect for each other.  While we are doing this together, each one of us is on our own personal journey.   

Now that being said, and understanding there are challenges to this way of life, let me tell you the flip side.  You take your family at their worst and their best.  This is the beauty of this life.  While seeing this beautiful world is great, to me that isn’t even the best part about this trip.  The more subtle moments bring a much deeper happiness.  Seeing each of us blossom, completely unhindered and in our own way, that is beautiful.  We are all growing as individuals, especially Tyler and Haley.  For example, Tyler has really embraced his love for the kitchen and he has been inspired on this trip to cook us fantastic meals, leaving him wondering if he should look into this further as a career. 

He’s also been fascinated with seeking out new hobbies like extreme kayaking, spelunking, or pretty much anything that seems dangerous--he is a true teenage boy.  He picks a new hobby he’s interested in at each new place it seems.  As far as Haley, she has found her element.  When she is out in nature, whether fishing, swimming or horseback riding, this is her kind of life. 

She has also started writing a book that she started on her very own.  She is growing every day, learning to conquer her fears and now talks about “full timing” with her family when she grows up.  I’m worried we’ve created a monster.  Our kids are gaining insight and knowledge we could never teach them on our own.  The entire universe is their teacher and the country is their playground.  They are also enjoying time and attention we can finally give them as parents.  We are spoiling them in a way that we were never capable of before, with our time. 

It feels great to be parents who are present in the moment, not preoccupied with things that won’t matter in ten years.  The boys yelling at the TV while playing their PS3 together, Haley spending the morning fishing with dad, the girls having their own nail salon set up on a Saturday morning, all of us playing football in the pool on a hot day or hiking up to a scenic point, these are the moments that we all look forward to along the way.  Our family is so lively, fun and full of passion for living.

Then, there is nothing quite like hearing my daughter beg me to quiz her on the facts she learned by visiting Abraham Lincoln’s Boyhood home (is this really my daughter?) or seeing her eyes light up with intrigue for the simple farm life back in the 19th century. (This has also resulted in her begging Tom and me for a farm, a horse and a long dress. I’m beginning to think she was born in the wrong century.)  For her, this type of enthusiasm has never come from a book or school.  For Tyler, he is all about the adventure and living on the edge.  He was ready to take on class six rapids after finishing his first trip down the river.  Each sight we see nurtures his innate fascination with science and history.  Learning that within Mammoth Cave scientists have uncovered fossils from what would be considered sea creatures or learning how Andrew Jackson was known for implementing controversial policies during his time as president, these types of facts peak the curiosity of his young, bright mind.  This is the best part of being a parent.    

As for married life, Tom and I are learning more about each other and figuring out our roles without careers consuming our thoughts.  Since we aren’t immersed in work, it opens up a whole new world.  To take a trip around the country with your family, I will say, you have to have a solid marriage.  Tom fulfills his role as the fun loving dad and I definitely spend more time trying to implement learning. 

We don’t get much time as a couple, but we both find pure happiness in the simple things like playing a game of scrabble by the fire or a walk under the stars.  Tom tries to keep everything rolling.  If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be Devoes on the Roll. He is our roll.  He handles all the RV maintenance and keeps the family in line passing out chores and such.  Within this past month, he’s finally been able to start enjoying hobbies again.  This is the first time in a very long time, where he has had time to enjoy reading or fishing or downtime in general.  We both love travel and living each day as we choose.  It feels like we are reliving our childhood in so many ways.  I have found my roots in writing and nature, both of which I have always loved.  I also hope to pursue art once again.  Outside of hobbies, sharing this one of a kind adventure with everyone through blogs and social media has meant so much to me.  Taking a step away from a stressful life to enjoy my family to the fullest, this stunning world and unmatched simplicity is everything I had hoped it would be.  When you remove the noise of the unnecessary, you become in tune with all that matters.

It is nice that each moment is spent the way we choose.  This, however, comes with its own challenge.  When you have all this time, what do you choose to do with your time?  I think all of us are figuring that out, one day at a time.  School hasn’t started for the kids yet, so we have all been in vacation mode for the last month.  Of course, they have learned more in this month of summer, than they have ever learned over any summer break in the past.  We will begin our new “routine” when school starts back after the holiday.  I guess we aren’t quite sure what our new normal will look like and that is completely alright.  When planning this trip, we had many ambitious ideas of things we wanted to conquer.  We gave ourselves a year off as a family, without spending a majority of time pursuing careers, which meant we could pursue anything of our liking.  This brought ideas of our family learning instruments, embracing spiritual growth and even learning a new language. I think all these things will come, in due time.  For now, we have let the end of the summer be a much needed vacation and a time to learn how to settle into our nomadic lifestyle. 

Summing things up, I think we have had one heck of a first month.  We aren’t just learning about history or science in each state, we are learning about life.  This includes the giving of ourselves, not only to the community but to each other.  This experience is transforming us all.  Only time can tell what bigger purpose is coming out of this, but I know deep down there is one.  In closing, I will end this with just a few lessons from our first month on the road:  

• Travelling needs to be less planned and more spontaneous—this is an adventure.
• It may not always be the places you are anticipating the most that are the best.
• Cats actually like travelling, but they don’t like skunks.
• Everyone needs a little space and time to themselves.
• RV air conditioners like shade when it is 100 degrees outside.
• It is amazing how many channels you can get without paying for it! (And how much fun it is to guess how many you will get at each stop.)
• Wi-Fi is not everywhere and neither is T-Mobile service.
• Videotaping our family is always a good idea, because apparently we are WAY more entertaining than we give ourselves credit for, or at least YouTube says so.
• Just because you lend a helping a hand, doesn’t always mean people will take it.
• Don’t take for granted the beauty and wonder in your own backyard.
• Chiggers are evil.
• Bug spray is important (see #11).
• Our earth is incredible and there are endless things to explore and learn every single moment of every single day.
• Love and respect go a long way.
• So do apologies.
• There really are a lot of genuinely nice people still in the world.
• Our family really is living a dream and we are incredibly fortunate to be able to do this together.
• Giving is better than receiving, in fact it doesn’t even compare.
• Sharing this experience with our friends, family and newfound friends makes it that much grander.
• God never ceases to amaze us.